He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
