yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
