i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
