I just saw a hot homeless man
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
