I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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