I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
