I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
