dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
