Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
