I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
