i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
