Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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