Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
