Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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