you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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