Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
