I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
