So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
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You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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