What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
