Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
