HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
vagina is talking i cant
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
