Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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