Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
