You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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