I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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