My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
