We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
