Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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