do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You pole danced in your parka.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
