so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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