Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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