he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
