You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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