he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
