arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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