dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
