I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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