Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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