Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize