WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Boobs speak an international language.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
