i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
