Define "chronic" masturbator.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
