At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
