He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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