I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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