Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
