I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
