I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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