Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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