38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
