He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
