Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We have started to decorate penises.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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