My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize