Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
