The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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