is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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