Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
