hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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