i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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