do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
