I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't think brook has ever known best
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
